No-one ever said it was impossible not to score from the penalty spot, but at the very least you shouldn't be far off if you miss. The penalty spot, after all, is only 11 metres away (give or take a few centimetres), and the goalmouth itself covers just short of 18 square metres. Having your shot saved by the goalkeeper is entirely possible, but missing the goal by a considerable distance? Well that's got to be virtually impossible, wouldn't you say?
Not if you're Diana Ross, it isn't, but surely the one-time lead singer of The Supremes has had a rough deal for the last 21 years? When she fluffed her big moment during the 1994 World Cup opening ceremony, she may have caused a collective sniggering up the sleeve of the watching millions around the world, but it wasn't her fault really. Prior to her unfortunate swing and miss while singing 'I'm Coming Out', she'd probably never even clapped eyes on a football, let alone be paid to kick one on a professional basis. Why on Earth did anyone expect her to put the ball in the back of that shoddily-made net?
Footballers, however, are different. Their very existence revolves around the ability to kick a ball straight, and, in a penalty situation, towards a largely open goalmouth.
With that in mind, we're inclined to scratch our heads until they bleed at the sight of this anti-skill on the part of Francis Lee in England's last international match of the 1960's...
And now let's recap to see just how bad that penalty was:
Yep. As we thought. Awful.
-- Chris Oakley