Retro Rewind: 101 Great Goals (BBC, 1987)

By my reckoning, it’s 83 great goals, 15 that might be great and 3 that definitely aren't, but that’s just me being pedantic. And besides, it would have been a far longer and more cumbersome title for a VHS tape that I recall seeing virtually everywhere back in the late 1980’s.

I never actually owned a VCR until 1990, but this video cassette cropped up wherever I went, from my local WH Smith to the Virgin Megastore in Oxford Street, London. Though the inlay cover was far from exciting, the title did rather more to stir my imagination. What were these great goals, packaged and presented for us by the BBC? How exciting would it be to watch a whole uninterrupted hour of goals, goals and yet more goals? And would I get any change from a £10 note if I bought it?

I never did find out which goals were on that tape until the internet arrived, by which time my Akai VCR was well on its way to fully decomposing along with several dozen Scotch E240 tapes of mine. Upon watching the video, one is immediately struck by how many of the goals are familiar. That’s because many of them either won the BBC’s Goal of the Season competition or were shortlisted for the accolade.

Fortunately, even where that is the case, the goals are well worth seeing anyway. As mentioned earlier, only a paltry amount could be considered ‘not great’, and even they've got some intrinsic value to them. One of them, a goal scored by Jimmy Greaves at Valley Parade on January 3 1970, consisted merely of a throw-in by Joe Kinnear, flicked on, scuffed by a Bradford defender and poked home from close range. Hardly ‘great’, but worth seeing just to witness a legendary striker doing what he does best.

A classic Liam Brady effort for Arsenal at Tottenham in 1978 acts as the basis for the most rudimentary of opening title sequences, after which the goal-laden chronology begins in 1969. Bobby Charlton crops up with two of three successive Manchester United sizzlers, then it’s Greaves at Bradford followed by Martin Chivers scoring for Tottenham at Molineux on the same day... except Tottenham couldn't possibly have been playing Bradford and Wolves on the same day. The caption shown on the Chivers goal was wrong, and this was one of a few similar cock-ups that threaten to blight the overall presentation.

No matter. The goals they kept on coming; Ernie Hunt’s brilliant volley, set up by Willie Carr’s donkey kick, George Best looping the ball over a floundering Pat Jennings, Ronnie Radford slamming a screamer into the top corner of the net against Newcastle... Iconic images paraded before our eyes garnished inevitably by the excited commentaries of Motson, Davies, Coleman and others.

Growing up as a kid in the late 1970’s, it was goals like these that were often shown on TV, almost as a reminder of how good modern-day football ought to be. Personally speaking, I was always most fond of a long-range pile-driver, flying into the roof of the net from way out. Many such goals featured on this tape from the likes of Alan Mullery, the aforementioned Ronnie Radford and, perhaps most tellingly, Johnny Metgod for Nottingham Forest against West Ham in 1986. These were the goals I tried to replicate while playing in the local park as a kid right up to playing five-a-side with my colleagues as a 37-year-old.

It’s not all ‘thirty yard thunderbolts’, however. Proof is provided that a great goal can take many forms, whether it’s from a clever chip (cf. Glenn Hoddle against Watford in 1983, Terry McDermott against Everton in 1977) or an overhead kick (cf. Danny Wallace for Southampton against Liverpool  in 1984). Whatever your taste in goals, be they created from a series of neat passes or blasted in from distance, it’s fair to say you’ll be satisfied by something you see.

If there's any particular criticism to make, it's that the bigger teams feature more prominently than the smaller ones. Goals by Tottenham, Liverpool and Man United players make up more than a third of the total on their own, and those three teams appear in more than a quarter of all the clips, but maybe that's no surprise. Your average Match of the Day usually focused more on those clubs anyway, so the footage used in 101 Great Goals is simply a reflection of that.

The procession of great players, great teams and great goals continues through until 1987 (the year of release for this VHS tape) with the last goal coming from Clive Allen for Spurs against Coventry City in the FA Cup Final of that year. Somewhat disappointingly, Allen’s goal was the only one featured from that match. No Keith Houchen? Tut tut... But hey, it’s not easy putting together a selection of the best things in a particular category. Better, perhaps, to be grateful  for what you’re given, and this BBC production is certainly worthy of acclaim for providing over an hour of great football entertainment.

-- Chris Oakley

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Retro Rewind - 'So Near, So Far: The 1991/92 Manchester United Season Review' (VHS)

Once again, ladies and gents, you're in for a treat as we welcome back Dave Burin to give you a review of a VHS tape aimed mainly at nostalgic Man United fans...

"What a goal from Clayton Blackmore.  He loves it, and so do the crowd!"

All these years later, I still love the famously oversexed full back's rocket of a strike, at a hostile Elland Road  It's been a shade over 23 years since this VHS first hit the shelves, just after the end of a season where triumph and despair mingled together uneasily amidst the rubble of the old Stretford End, pulled down after a final day victory in a 3-1 dead rubber tie against Tottenham Hotspur.

Whilst Manchester United's Class of '92 embodied a freak of nature, a youth side compiled of numerous future Premier League stars, its story was almost timeless. The gaggle of Giggs, Beckham, Gary Neville and even Robbie Savage, would have made headlines in 1965 or 2015 for the abundance of natural talent on display. But the story of that season's first team and the backdrop to their matches feels more definite. It feels more 1992 than the Class of '92's story. It's become a common cliché, but there's relevance to the argument that this was the last year of old football - depending on who you ask, perhaps, 'proper football'.

With the hindsight of time, and the club's enormous success in the intervening 23 years, watching through the build-up to our most infamous title collapse feels more like an exercise in nostalgia than an act of self-masochism. The title cards for each game mix brightly coloured scrapbook animation with short glimpses of the action to come, like some ill-advised crossover between The Big Match and Saved by the Bell.

With the distance of time, what seemed standard then, now seems lovably quaint. Sheffield United were sponsored by Laver, a timber company, because financial corporations and loan companies were simply not manly enough for Sheffield. During United's away game at Oldham Athletic, Denis Irwin jubilantly celebrates a goal whilst a woman walks along the touchline pushing a trolley which seems to be conveying a large vat of soup. What a time to be alive!

Even the names of certain opposition goalscorers evoke a sense of cosy familiarity - some long forgotten, but instantly conjuring up memories of half time Bovril, obscenely short shorts, Shoot! magazine and any other clichés you'd like to add to that list. Frank McAvennie. Nigel Jemson. Mike Milligan. Even Ian Rush's 'tache feels vaguely historic, a remnant of a time when the giants of the English game cribbed their facial grooming tips from Ron Jeremy. This was also a time before the choreographed monotony of the synchronised celebration. Steve Bruce flaps his arms like an overly-excitable eagle, after each goal he scores. It's the way things should be.

On that note, I should probably talk a bit about the football - and more specifically, the brand of football United played. Despite the eventual disappointment of the league campaign, there were magic moments. Young Ryan Giggs nets a stunning solo goal in a 3-0 home triumph over Norwich City. The Reds produce a slightly reckless attacking masterclass at Boundary Park, beating Oldham 6-3.  A 5-0 trouncing of an admittedly dire Luton Town (see left). Bryan Robson's late, great winner at White Hart Lane. This was a side that embodied excitement and entertainment. Harry Redknapp would have called them "T'riffic".

But, for all their attractive football, neither Man United nor eventual champions Leeds needed to be that good all of the time. Whilst in the big money, high-pressure Premier League of 2015, serious mistakes are something of a rarity, on the boggy pitches of 1992's First Division, they were alarmingly frequent.

In this one review video alone, Sheffield Wednesday's defenders clatter into each other on the goal line after a terrible backwards pass, and Brian McClair sneaks in to score. A Luton Town defender falls over his feet, leading to a United goal. Spurs stopper Ian Walker kicks the ball about four yards to limply set up a United goal. Peter Schmeichel concedes a few goals by just standing around the box looking slightly bored, as if waiting for a delayed bus to arrive.

It's all interspersed with interviews, of course. These were the dark days before a gurning Jim White held Sky Sports News hostage interviewing surprised players through car windows, and before United's centre backs could post every ridiculous thought they had on Twitter (love you really, Rio!). Bryan Robson is interviewed in what appears to be his living room. A reflective Alex Ferguson talks with a surprisingly resigned sadness about the season past. "We're not looking for excuses" he says, with a shrug of the shoulders.

The last jubilant moments take place at Bramall Lane and Wembley. The away victory against The Blades is a moment of pure, joyous early '90s emotion. The screen is awash in slightly fuzzy figures leaping over the terracing barriers, a unified mass of oversized padded jackets, technicolour shellsuits and uniform bowl cuts.  No hipster combovers here.

The footage in the build-up to the Rumbelows Cup Final is perhaps the most interesting feature of all. It's a document of how much everything has changed. Club officials eating a fried breakfast on the train with eager young lads in face paint and carrying homemade flags and banners. Workers at Manchester's Victoria station wearing red rosettes reading 'Good Luck United!'  It feels like another world to the football where Manchester City spend £49 million on an unspectacular player and parade him in front of a stage-managed set of 'fans'.

United win the Final 1-0 against Nottingham Forest. The trophy is presented by the 'Rumbelows Employee of the Year' - because apparently selling lots of computer keyboards translates into getting to give Steve Bruce a trophy. Anyway, it's a nice touch. Paul Ince is wearing a bucket hat. Peter Schmeichel is wearing a fez and throwing the kit man into a full bath in the dressing room. By this point I'm trying not to think too hard about the football - because I know what's coming next.

Even now, the last 10 minutes of this VHS review feel akin to the culmination of a shlocky but especially grisly horror movie. The fun part is over. Something horrific is about to happen, and though part of you wants to avoid it, you continue watching - compelled - knowing that the smiling faces will turn to masks of despair. United lose twice to Nottingham Forest. They lose at West Ham. Some pretentious git named Cantona keeps scoring for Leeds, and they go on to lift the title. It's all rather grim.

Alex Ferguson flashes back onto the screen, immaculate in jacket and tie. "The demands... of everyone means you have to win titles," he says meaningfully. Over the following two decades, those demands would be met and surpassed with incredible regularity. Even in 1993, though, winning the Premier League would feel somehow different to winning the First Division. Not better or worse, simply other.

The moustaches would be trimmed. The acid blue away kit would be retired, and left to the nostalgists and curios. The pitches would improve. Even the season review soundtrack, here a pleasant enough background noise which probably appeared on old PC screensavers, would get an upgrade. The times, they were a changin'.

Even if you're not a Man United fan, we're sure you'll agree that Dave's reminder of how things were back in the early-'90s was very evocative and a really great read. Thanks Dave!

If you want to catch more of Dave's guest posts at the Attic, you'll find the links below, or if you want to follow him on Twitter, be sure to find Dave at @GoldenVision90.

More from Dave Burin:

• Field of Screens - Five Great Football Documentaries
• The Football Attic's Hit Parade: We're Gonna Do It Again

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Worst. Penalty. Ever.

No-one ever said it was impossible not to score from the penalty spot, but at the very least you shouldn't be far off if you miss. The penalty spot, after all, is only 11 metres away (give or take a few centimetres), and the goalmouth itself covers just short of 18 square metres. Having your shot saved by the goalkeeper is entirely possible, but missing the goal by a considerable distance? Well that's got to be virtually impossible, wouldn't you say?

Not if you're Diana Ross, it isn't, but surely the one-time lead singer of The Supremes has had a rough deal for the last 21 years? When she fluffed her big moment during the 1994 World Cup opening ceremony, she may have caused a collective sniggering up the sleeve of the watching millions around the world, but it wasn't her fault really. Prior to her unfortunate swing and miss while singing 'I'm Coming Out', she'd probably never even clapped eyes on a football, let alone be paid to kick one on a professional basis. Why on Earth did anyone expect her to put the ball in the back of that shoddily-made net?

Footballers, however, are different. Their very existence revolves around the ability to kick a ball straight, and, in a penalty situation, towards a largely open goalmouth.

With that in mind, we're inclined to scratch our heads until they bleed at the sight of this anti-skill on the part of Francis Lee in England's last international match of the 1960's...



And now let's recap to see just how bad that penalty was:

Yep. As we thought. Awful.


-- Chris Oakley

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Videoblog 6: The Encyclopedia of World Football (Marshall Cavendish, 1980)

Way back in July 2013 when we recorded our podcast on Football Books, Rich asked Chris whether there were any books he loved enough to warrant him running back into a burning house to rescue from its raging inferno. Chris answered that one particular title would be worthy of that life-threatening course of action, namely the Encyclopedia of World Football.

Sixteen months on, Chris finally tells you all why he loved the book so much in Videoblog 6 (see below). For fans of football kits, badges and general miscellanea, this is a great old book that's well worth hunting down on eBay and other online auction sites.

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Retro Random Video: ITV World Cup 78 (again)

Way back at the start of the year, we brought you a wonderful video clip (courtesy of our good friend Geoff Downs) that showed just what ITV's coverage of the 1978 World Cup was like. In short, it had Brian Moore and a two dubious hair styles worn no doubt for a bet by Andy Gray and Kevin Keegan.

Needless to say that must have whet your appetite for the rarely seen delights of ITV Sport's logo-shaped studio and everything else besides, so here's another clip for you. This time, we go back to the start of the tournament and a chance to see part of the opening ceremony, again presided over by Brian Moore and Kevin Keegan.

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Commercial Break: Match Weekly 'Quiz Disc' (1981)

Back at the start of January 2014, we recorded Football Attic Podcast 15 on the subject of Shoot! and Match magazine, and as has become traditional, we put out an appeal ahead of the recording to ask for your memories of either.

While many people regaled us with their remembrances of Shoot's League Ladders, two of you tugged our coats to tell us about a long-forgotten give-away gift in Match Weekly magazine.

Andrew Rockall said at the time: "Match gave away a flexidisc record with a quiz on it. Hoddle, Peter Withe and stretching my memory I think… Alan Kennedy were the contestants. Hosted by Mike Ingham, it was a three-parter and the discs were coloured 7-inch."

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Retro Random Video: ITV World Cup 78

So having read our previous article about ITV's World Cup 78 magazine (you *did read* our previous article, didn't you?), it's possible you might be wondering what ITV's coverage of the 1978 World Cup might have been like.

Wonder no more. Here for your viewing pleasure is a nine-minute collection of clips showing exactly that. It's all a far cry from the TV presentation we know today, but there's still plenty to enjoy, so sit back and enjoy the video along with our guide to the best bits you should be looking out for.

0:00
ITV Sport's short-lived blue caption board gets us underway along with a bold, jaunty theme tune by the name of 'Argentina Action.' We can't help thinking that the music seems rather dated for 1978, but then again it is virtually a reworking of ITV's 1974 theme, 'Lap of Honour.' But we digress.

0:28
What about this, BBC?!! It's a studio set designed in the shape of the ITV Sport logo, for heaven's sake!!! You can keep your Frank Bough, thank you very much - THIS is what it's all about...

Yes we know it looks a bit odd, but you should see what it looks like from above. And they've even got the official Argentina '78 logo on the wall! Let's see your licence fee pay for that...

0:39
A quick look at the Scotland side due to face Iran in the second of three Group 4 matches. Ally McLeod's side had lost 3-1 in their opening fixture, so this was a crucial match for all concerned. Now if only there was someone on hand that knew what it was like to play for Scotland...

0:44
Oh look - there's Andy Gray! But why was he sitting in a TV studio in London rather than playing cards with Kenny Dalglish in a Cordoba hotel room? You'll have to ask Ally McLeod that.

Gray had been scoring goals by the dozen since his 1975 transfer from Dundee United to Aston Villa, but for reasons best known to himself, McLeod saw fit to leave him out of the 1978 World Cup squad. Ah, but this Scotland team would score bags of goals without him, surely? Anyone?

1:28
Somebody call Denis Norden! A bit of a cock-up here from Mooro as he talks about Austria's Walter Schachner who we scoo-saw-score against Spain in the opening title sequence. Stop giggling at the back, Gray...

2:20
They don't make captions like this anymore...

3:10
Note Brian Moore's easy-going style of conversation here. So laid back, so casual... his calm but knowledgeable manner is all that's needed to prompt Gray and Keegan into making some interesting comments about the game. Somehow other presenters come across as being a bit too deliberate by comparison.

3:52
Moore points out to Keegan that Sweden could throw on the talented Ralf Edstrom for the second half. Keegan responds by saying he's currently playing in the Swedish Third Division, although he's not entirely sure. No matter - no-one's probably all that bothered about minor details like that...

4:53
"Football's got a funny habit of making you look stupid" says Keegan. Hmmm...

8:02
Brian Moore admits that the vast majority of Swedes living in the UK on June 7th 1978 contacted ITV Sport to point out that Ralf Edstrom was in fact playing First Division football for IFK Gothenburg. No need to apologise though, Brian - it was Kevin Keegan that made the mistake! "It's not very often we're wrong, but we're wrong again this time" says the SV Hamburg man, correcting himself immediately.

8:54
Time to wrap up, but not before a quick preview of the Scotland v Iran match being shown later that same day on ITV. Not only could you look forward to the return of Gray and Keegan, but also Pat Crerand too.

Who could possibly ask for more?

The Football Attic would like to thank Geoff Downs for allowing us to bring you this ITV World Cup 78 video.

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Retro Random Video: Rod Argent plays Top of The Pops

Imagine, if you will, a time in Britain when the theme to a World Cup programme on TV could be written and performed by someone you've never heard of. Certainly that used to be the case before the BBC and ITV went all out for ratings supremacy by enlisting the help of top acts like Jean Michel Jarre and Luciano Pavarotti.

Knowing which musicians could conjure up a tuneful melody to enhance the viewer's pleasure of some far-flung tournament was a skill in itself. Luckily one man was often on hand during the 1970's and 80's that could envisage the Latin passion of a World Cup in Argentina or the searing heat of Mexico. That man was Rod Argent - a man who would enter a Football Attic Hall of Fame if one existed - and his first association with football TV themes came in 1978.

Argent, under the name of Rodriguez Argentina (Rod Argent - geddit?) was part of the group San Jose that performed 'Argentine Melody (Cancion de Argentina)', the BBCs World Cup theme that year. The piece of music was released as a single on the back of positive viewer feedback and it reached number 14 in the UK charts.

Few World Cup themes from British TV can claim to have been so successful, but Argent had success eight years later with another top tune, ITV's 'Aztec Gold', which got to number 48 in the UK singles chart.

Anyway, if you're still unsure who Rod Argent is (let alone what he looks like), here's a rare chance to see him perform on Top of the Pops back in 1978 - the master at work, albeit in a silly hat.

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Fantasy Nostalgia: The Football Attic Does The FIFA World Rankings

Let's face it, whenever FIFA releases its latest monthly World Rankings list, the international football community collectively thinks "yeah whatever" and carries on with its normal activities.

We at The Football Attic, however, think it could be made more exciting. Not only that, but we think we could present the World Rankings in a way that keeps all you nostalgia freaks happy as well as the international football fan in general.

Here's how it should be done...

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Videoblog 4: Club Colours (1998)

If you heard our recent Football Attic podcast, you'll know we're borderline nerdists when it comes to football kit design. To prove that point beyond any reasonable doubt, we bring you our fourth Videoblog which takes as its subject a book all about football kit design.

Club Colours is its title and Bob Bickerton is the author and illustrator. If you want to know what's between the covers, watch the video and perhaps leave us a comment afterwards to tell us what you thought.

Club Colours
published by Hamlyn
ISBN: 0-600-59542-0

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Retro Random Video: Richardson, Costello and Football Italia

Chances are if you're a football fan and you live in the UK, you'll know who James Richardson is. As the host of The Guardian's Football Weekly podcast, he's entertained a great many of us for more years than we care to remember with his clever wit and his excellent presentation style.

He also houses a vast array of knowledge about Italian football inside that hairless head of his, and if you've forgotten how that came to be so well-informed, let us remind you.

For ten years, Richardson was the presenter of Gazzetta Football Italia, a Channel 4 TV show that brilliantly did what no-one had dared do before, namely bring us a weekly magazine show with news and features from one of the major football-playing countries of continental Europe.

While Gazzetta Football Italia was shown on Saturdays, there was also an accompanying programme on Sundays featuring a live match from Serie A. This was a real treat for those of us curious to see Italian football shortly after the 1990 World Cup had taken place there.

To get a sense of what the latter programme was like on those occasions, look no further than this superb clip in which James Richardson provides us with a half-time summary like no other.


First things first, the man's got hair and lots of it - a staggering sight for anyone to see.

Secondly, during his introductory scene-setting at Genoa's Marassi Stadium, we get to marvel at the sheer speed with which he talks to camera. No doubt up against the clock with the second half due to begin in a matter of minutes, his words at times fall from his mouth quicker than a drunk on a mountain bike.

And then there's Richardson's run-down of the half-time scores from Serie A. At this point you need to know (if you haven't already guessed) that the special guest for this edition of Football Italia is none other than the acclaimed musician Elvis Costello. Keep this in mind when you hear the Guardian Football Weekly presenter run through the scores and crowbars in EIGHT Elvis Costello song titles in the process. Such pretty words indeed.

As if that wasn't enough, Costello himself proves to be no stooge when it comes to talking about Italian football. He actually knows what he's talking about! Take note, Alan Shearer...

Though it only lasts for little more than five minutes, this clip shows how great TV presentation of football can be if you take the time to bring the right people in. Let's hope someone somewhere reads these words and takes inspiration from them.

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FA Cup Final Programmes (1946-2012)

Continuing FA Cup Final Week here at The Football Attic, we present a video montage showing the front covers of all of the FA Cup Final match-day programmes from 1946 onwards.

Pick your favourites, pick your worst, then tell us what they are - we look forward to hearing from you!

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Retro Random Video: Man United NOT appearing on Top of the Pops

We've seen it so often before, the sight of a football team appearing on Top of the Pops, singing (or rather 'miming') badly to their latest chart hit (if indeed 'hit' is the word we're looking for there).

But in 1983 there was one occasion when a football team were due to appear in the BBC studios to perform their song but didn't. This was because Manchester United, the team in question, were rendered unavailable on account of their participation in the 1983 FA Cup Final replay at Wembley against Brighton & Hove Albion.

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Retro Random Video: BBC World Cup Grandstand 1986

If you search YouTube long enough, you'll soon realise there are enough clips to delight and amuse you well into the next century. Yet it's not the quantity of the clips that often delights - more the randomness of them.

To that end, we'll be trying to bring you exactly that kind of overlooked randomness here on The Football Attic, and as ever, if you find any such footage of your own that you'd like to bring to a wider audience, do drop us a line and let us know.

We begin our trawl of the video archives with this quarter-hour clip taken from the end of the very last edition of the BBC's World Cup Grandstand in 1986.

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Charlie George for Christmas No.1!

It's at this time of year that someone launches a half-cocked campaign to get an utterly redundant song to number 1 in the UK charts for Christmas. Pathetic, futile behaviour and the sort of thing that fools no-one as they attempt to find some sort of spiritual meaning from the festive season.

But that's not going to stop us launching our own campaign - good god, no!  Yes, it all starts here, folks - it's time to put Charlie George at the top of the Christmas charts!

Our vision is to release a '45 (do they still make those?) featuring two songs that take the former lank-haired Arsenal legend as its subject.

On the A-side, 'I Wish I Could Play Like Charlie George', a song that begins with the plaintive ponderings of a small child building slowly to a tumult of ragtime exuberance leaving no-one in any doubt as to the virtues of the great man.



On the B-side, we propose 'The Charlie George Calypso', a Caribbean melody sung by what sounds like half a dozen North London types you saw down the pub on your last visit. Don't be fooled, however. With lyrics like "Have I seen Jesus Christ back on Earth? / No it's Charlie lying flat on the Wembley turf" this is a sure-fire hit backup to our main A-side gambit.



So let's get the message out there, people. Tell the world that Charlie George is the only true message we need this Christmas. Spread the word by getting on Facebook and use the hashtag #charlieatxmas.

And if that doesn't put paid to any plans Simon Cowell's got inside his head, nothing will.

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Arsenal - Barclays League Division One review (VHS), 1989

A warm welcome to Rich Nelson, the man behind the wonderful Nelson's Column and designer of Kits 5 and 6 on our League of Blogs 2012 wallchart. He's discovered a VHS tape that covers one of the major high points in Arsenal's history...

Not quite from the Football Attic, this is a treasure from the Football Garage (aka Nelson’s Column). The video was a present for being so brave…

My first experience of travel sickness on the way to a school trip to Suffolk in July 1989, the nine-year-old Rich N survived, and returned home to be greeted by happy parents and a shiny shrink-wrapped purchase from the Islington Woolworths. I couldn't claim to be any sort of connoisseur of production values with my collection, mostly of Transformers and various editions of The Big Match (unknowingly recorded over with Coronation Street), but just pressing 'Play' on the video player was like I'd become a true sophisticate. Flowing titles, a saxophone-heavy soundtrack and the dulcet tones of Jim Rosenthal were in place, and it was time to remember the finest end to a season ever, far closer than its poor relation, May 2012.

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England v Team America, 1976 Bicentennial Cup

As far as away kits go, England have only ever worn yellow on four occasions. Three of them were during the summer of 1973, the most notable of which was a World Cup qualifier against Poland. The other occasion, however, was for the 1976 Bicentennial Cup, a four-team competition celebrating the 200th anniversary of the USA's Declaration of Independence.

Luckily enough, England had failed to qualify for the finals of the 1976 European Championship, so what better way to spend the summer than to play across the pond against Italy, Brazil and a team representing the United States made up of a wide range of players including Pelé and Bobby Moore.

Here's a chance to see some of the action, plus of course that rarest of rare sightings - England in yellow...

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English Football Grounds VHS - Part 1

I have a confession to make... I have an obsession with stadiums. I blame it all on the San Siro and Italia 90. It’s my issue and I’ve come to peace with it. It does, however, mean I have several rather nerdy items in my football collection. The truly awesome Football Grounds of Europe by Simon Inglis, several volumes of Football Grounds from the Air... and this video...

The film opens with a shot of an empty Molineux stand and through the magic of cross fading, the ground slowly fills up, noise level rising as it does. Finally, the players run out on to the pitch to a cacophony of cheers. This then fades to black and some truly awful late 70s synth soundtrack kicks in... welcome to the world of low budget videos people!

The titles then inform us that the video is introduced by the legend that is Alan Mullery.

Never mind the quality, feel the...er...Mullery?

And then he appears. Eloquent, fluid, erudite, mellifluous... these are all words that describe the polar opposite of Mr. Mullery’s presenting style...and I use the word ‘presenting’ in its loosest possible sense. The best way I can describe Alan’s segues is you get the creeping sense that he’s been taken hostage by a terrorist group and with gun to head, is being forced to read out his plea to the Prime Minister, only for someone to have replaced the carefully prepared script at the last minute with some stuff about football league grounds... His eyes darting left to right as he struggles to muster any real enthusiasm for the words he’s supposedly written, there are clear signs of torture... though it’s us who is suffering, toes curling to extremes.

“In the next 70 minutes (oh lord!) or so, we aim to show you the huge changes that have taken place in the last few years...”

Just read that quote again then remember this was filmed in 1994. Now think of the state of most grounds in 2012 and you get the feeling Alan’s brain would have melted...though based on this video, I think it was almost there.

Thankfully, we soon get to the meat of the video and, with the hint dropped that we’re off to the ‘far north’, what feast of the senses are we treated to? Which huge ground do we get sight of to cease our pavlovian salivating?

This...

OK...

“So where are we off to first Dave?” enquires a disembodied female voice.
“Izzup to the norfeast to sint jamezzzzez park”, comes the answer.
Despite the shaky production values and obviously limited budget, it’s at this point that the video really does come into its own.  This is the first glimpse you get of St James’ Park...

I can see it!!!

This is less than 20 years ago, but the place is hardly recognisable.

The quirkiness then continues where the team decide to include the scene where they announce that “the first thing they should do is go to reception and get permission to go into the ground”. There’s detail and there’s DETAIL!

Once ensconced within, the changes that have taken place “in the last few years” are detailed. This was at a time when St James’ Park was halfway through its first major rebuilding phase, with the 2 ends being transformed from terracing to steep banked seating with their deep covered roofs. At this stage, only one of those ends had been completed; the other was still a low, open terrace and there’s still terracing in the main stand. The commentary makes the point that ‘fans familiar with the ground just a few years ago, wouldn’t recognise it today’ and, following a camera sweep around it, it’s hard to see anyone from the present recognising that particular incarnation of the ground.  Also of note, there’s not a single Sports Direct logo anywhere, though there is a Northern rock hoarding.

It’s also interesting to note that Keegan was so popular at the time, he even drew a crowd waiting for a bus...

Gimme Shelter...

We then move onto Middlesbrough, accompanied by some cod Wurlitzer style tunes...lovely! So...what did the Riverside look like in 1994? This...

Not actual size

Of course,  it wasn’t yet built for the ‘Boro still played at Ayresome Park in 1994. With no hint of irony given how soon they were to abandon the place, the narrator tells us that this is a place steeped in history. Hmmm...

History smells funny...

Without warning, Alan pops up again to deliver a stunning anecdote about playing Brian Clough for the first time...and by stunning, I mean deathly. I have a suspicion that Steve Coogan has this video in his collection somewhere. Needles to say, he had the last laugh.

So where are we off to next on this odyssey from Newcastle to Wembley?  Why, York City of course!

After the now obligatory ground pan, we’re treated to some footage of York against Colchester from the 1992/3 season for no apparent reason, other than maybe to show what a game looks like if you film it from behind a support column.

Mmmm... Posty...

One exciting anecdote from Alan later and we’re off to yet another ground that no longer exists... a beautifully snow covered Leeds Road in Huddersfield. While progress is a natural thing in life and most of these grounds were archaic even in the 90s, it is rather saddening to see so much that is now housing developments and supermarkets. Yes the grounds that replaced these decrepit old homes have better seating, views and facilities, but they also look so damn similar! The true joy of this video is the sheer variety of stands and terraces you get, often all within one ground. These places told a story. You could often see the history of a club just by looking from left to right.

At least what was to be known initially as the McAlpine Stadium was a rather unique looking thing in itself and can be seen here mid-construction.

At this point it was known as the McAlp

Here’s Alan again... Shankly, Dennis Law, 6 goals, Frank Worthington, Trevor Cherry all get a mention and I’ll cut him some slack here... he’s clearly speaking from memory rather than a cue card and a genuine sparkle is detectable as he tells us how none of them ever got a result there.

It’s Ewood Park now and here we have yet another ground in the middle of being built. This was of course the time when Jack Walker’s millions were transforming the club and the ground itself. Fast forward 18 years and how things have sadly changed...

Then to Anfield - or not as they clearly weren't allowed in, so instead some footage of them destroying Crystal Palace and some exterior shots of the famous Kop... where it can be seen that in 1994, you could get into a Liverpool game for £8... to repeat, that’s EIGHT POUNDS!

8 Quid???

A shot of the Hillsborough memorial then serves as what feels like a somewhat tasteless link to move on to Sheffield Wednesday’s ground. For a second...then it’s on to the red half of Manchester.

“A vast amphitheatre...now complete”. Complete in the sense of the old terracing having just been converted into seating and the roof line joined up, taking the capacity to a then mammoth 40,000. Only 2 years later, the huge, 3 tier stand took shape and kicked off the next phase of Old Trafford’s redevelopment.

Next up, Sheffield United and Dave “Harry” Bassett, the then manager, gives us quite an accurate description of the state of football ground development at the time, pointing out that since the Taylor report, a lot of grounds higher up the league have improved immensely, while those further down are stuck in less than desirable surroundings. The most interesting thing about his piece to camera, though, is that he doesn’t appear to take a breath all the way through. Honestly, he never once stops talking. A quick pan round the ground, which I have to say, looks like a shed, and up pops Dave again, detailing all the forthcoming changes to Brammal Lane... and again, no pausing. Either he’s nervous or he’s just imbibed a handful of speed.

Breathe Dammit!!!!

It's then off to Chester City's brand new Deva Stadium... and at this point (not even half an hour into the video), I'll pull into the motorway services for a 'comfort break' and see you all again in part 2...

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The League of Blogs - Video gallery

You've probably been hearing a lot about The League of Blogs from us lately (and if it's too much, we apologise!) but we really are jolly pleased with the way everything panned out and the way all you wonderful bloggers came together to form such an impressive array of kit designs.

Up to now, your kits have appeared on our wallchart as a JPEG image (which you can view here), but due to technical limitations we haven't been able to show off the fine detail of all your designs to the full. Now, fortunately, we can!

To showcase all your hard work, we thought we'd put together a video montage showing nice, big, clear images of all 92 kits featured, and here it is!


Take a look and see if you can spot your own designs (if you submitted one) and do leave us a comment to tell us which are your favourites (apart from your own, that is!)

Once again, we thank you all for your participation in The League of Blogs. It's been a fun project and one we were glad to share with all of you.

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Chris O's Favourite 5... Football TV Theme Tunes

Continuing our 'Favourite 5' series, here's my best five TV theme tunes for British football shows (in no particular order of preference...)

'Jellicle Ball'
(World Cup Grandstand, BBC 1982) 


A rip-roaring in-your-face toboggan ride of a theme tune, composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber for the musical Cats. It’s a great theme tune because it encapsulates all the drama and excitement usually associated with a World Cup. The quiet start quickly explodes into a bold and (literally) brassy fanfare that hints at the urgency to succeed and the memory of erstwhile defeats. The final euphoric flourish, however, is born of a growing, repetitive momentum resulting in ultimate glory and a realised sense of exaltation. (That’s except for viewers in Northern Ireland.)

‘Jubilation’
(The Big Match, ITV 1980) 


Another fanfare to kick this one off, this time to herald a symphony of blaring synthesisers and twanging guitars. Like Jellicle Ball, the biggest virtue of this piece is its relentless pace that somehow symbolises the pace of modern football. The six-note signature phrase is wonderfully catchy and crops up at the beginning, end and several points in between, fitting in beautifully with the dynamism that Jeff Wayne used throughout. And yes, we are talking about the same Jeff Wayne that composed the musical version of HG Wells’ War of the Worlds, along with countless other musical pieces for TV and radio. Why here’s another one…

‘Matador’
(World Cup ‘82, ITV 1982) 


In many ways, this ITV theme tune from the 1982 World Cup just doesn’t work. It’s slower and more ponderous than my first two choices, has a moody feel to it which is perhaps at odds with the action-packed nature of the game and leans more than a little on the sounds of Mexico rather than host nation Spain. For all that though, this is a beautifully crafted tapestry of Spanish guitar, electric guitar, pan pipes, a melodious string section and Jeff Wayne’s ubiquitous synths. Probably not everyone’s cup of tea but certainly evocative of that wistful feeling back in 1982 as we waited for one of the British sides to do well under the blazing Spanish sun.

‘Tutti Al Mondo’
(World Cup ’90, ITV 1990)


Staying with ITV (why did their theme tunes always outrank the BBC’s in my mind?), here’s a wonderful composition by Rod Argent and Peter Van Hooke that was used by the commercial station during Italia ’90. While the Beeb went for the safe operatic option with the Pavarotti-fest Nessun Dorma, ITV were altogether more creative by using this energetic fusion of both operatic and contemporary styles. This piece seemed to have everything: soaring vocals, crashing drum sequences, synth stings… all set to a beguiling rhythm. Scandalously overlooked, this was the perfect accompaniment to a World Cup that seemed mediocre by comparison.

'Argentine Melody'
(World Cup Grandstand, BBC 1978) 


And as if to prove that Rod Argent was no stranger to this sort of thing, here's another contribution of his, this time for the BBC back in 1978. Once again, we go through the list of national musical stereotypes, this time for Argentina: Castanets? Tick… Accoustic guitar? Tick… Yet for all that it's a positively harmonious romp through the foothills of Patagonia that seems to work delightfully despite being a little too slow to complement football coverage on TV. Working with Andrew Lloyd Webber (who wrote and produced the piece), the song was was released as a chart single 'performed by San Jose featuring Rodriguez Argentina'… or 'Rod Argent' for short. Who says musicians don't have a sense of humour?

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